your therapist wants to know where in your body you most feel your anxiety. you tell her in the bones behind your face. they have their own music, like ptolemy’s universe, and chirp like shuriken dancing in the road. your therapist says you hurt because there are things you’ve never been taught to do: how…

I have loved. I have Loved like someone leaving All the lights on All night long. Like even the white cotton Sun was stuck at its crux Above the houses, perpetually Swabbing the iodine sky, And no one the whole world over Slept for four years. I have loved Like being very small, swimming In a…

A man walks into a bar and says:                                                Take my wife–please.                                                                                    So you do.            You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her                                                and she leaves you and you’re desolate.You’re on your back in your undershirt, a broken man                        on an ugly bedspread, staring at the water stains                                                                                                on the ceiling.                  And you can hear the man…

From somewhere a calm musical note arrives. You balance it on your tongue, a single ripe grape, till your whole body glistens. In the space between breaths you apply it to any wound and the wound heals. Soon the nights will lengthen,you will lean into the yearhumming like a saw.You will fill the lamps with…

Go with me. It’s just as likely as a virgin birth. So let’s live in a world where Joseph knew it was a miracle the whole time and didn’t have to be convinced by any angels. Let’s say he led the donkey proudly all the way to Bethlehem. Let’s live in a world— because we…

and singing in the night singing in the days of want and singing in the days of plenty singing alone and singing with ghosts singing old songs and singing new songs we will remember songs we haven’t heard yet songs that haven’t been dreamt yet songs no one has found the words for songs sung…

I’ve always been haunted by choice. I want the city and the forest. Freedom but also babies. A home and the open highway. I love it when other people choose anything for me—dinner spots, weekend plans, hiking trails. It’s one tiny decision I’m absolved from making. To choose is to be culpable and as a…

I will make jokes at my own expense, be charming as a surprise. I will ask about your new life and Be Cool About It and I will not mention Memphis. Or how your hair feels in my hands. I will not mention the last time I saw you. My mouth, so far from yours,…

Utopia is an impossible demand. Most likely, it’s what happens when no one’s looking. On Grindr, my profile stated: DESIRE IS A PLANET TRAPPED INSIDE AN EVEN BIGGER PLANET. The men I met were aroused by the world;  I was aroused by the opposite of the world. Turns out there can be so much night…

You grow old. You love everybody. You forgive everyone. You think: we are all leaves dragged along by a wheel. Then comes a splendid spotted yellow one—ah, distinction! And in that moment you are dragged under.